• emeliathygesen

You deserve to be who you are, even if people don't like your for it

When I was little, I was very quiet. I didn't talk much, was a pushover, and got bullied for my weight. Often times I would think I was crazy. I had no idea what anxiety was or what it really meant. I would spend hours over thinking about situations, conversations I had or would have in the future, what people were thinking of me, and the next major disappointment I would provide for my family.

I am also a highly sensitive person, which would escalate to the point where crying was an almost daily occurrence. I would often shut down whenever there was anger, yelling, or a type of confrontation. I didn't like large groups of people, forced socialization, and being forced to do anything that was outside my comfort zone.

So needless to say, I isolated myself a lot. I spent a lot time alone as a kid, because I when I did state what I wanted to do with others, I was told that I could not do it. I didn't fit into the mold that my adopted parents wanted me to fit into. So each time I would eventually assert my opinion, or my own needs, I was always told no.

Thankfully the internet saved me. Once I had the ability to go "online" at home, I was welcomed into many forums and communities where people did share my struggles and interest. I made lifelong friends, most of whom I still talk to today.

Over time this gave me the courage to be more open with people. I've learned that I am raw, opinionated, and open. It has its ups and downs being this way, but its who I really am. It's why I write. Because we all need to heard, whether is in writing, speaking in public, making art, or creating something new and different.

You deserve to be who you are, even if people don't like your for it. I've learned the hard way, that not everyone will like me for who I am. But I love myself to know to stay honest. And that alien feeling I had while growing up, is part of being adopted. Finding a community of people where you are understood is also part of the adoptee journey. Whether you are an introverted-extrovert like me, or just weird to others, you will always find your tribe. Never stop fighting for yourself.

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