• emeliathygesen

That's funny, you don't look adopted

Ever since I can remember I knew I was adopted. I don't remember the exact age I was told, or the story I was provided. I just always knew. But I don't remember anything under the age of 6, unless they are photo stories told based on pictures I'm in. There was: Disney World, trips to the ocean, trips to see family friends, or just pictures playing outside. But they never felt real to me. It was almost staged or planted. I look at photos and wonder if I was ever happy. Because, I don't ever remember feeling that way.

I look similar to my adopted family in face structure. So often when I would tell people I am adopted, they wouldn't believe me. It started out I would say it because I felt it was the right thing to say, when people would make stupid remarks. But then I would say it on purpose when I would meet new people. Because I wasn't like them, and wanted people to know I was different.

“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I was often reminded of this struggle of acceptance when I would watch Gilmore Girls. I think for a lot of adopted children and adults, we dream of relationships like Rory and Lorelai. We become so fixated on that attachment we never had growing up, and thought most of our friends did have with their parents. It's those fantasies of what if life had been different.

But recently I have realized that I was always Lorelai. Even though in the show she is genetically related to her parents, she did not fit into the box they wanted her to. The constant strained relationship she has with her mother, and other people around her. That it doesn't matter if you "look the part" or actually are biologically related. Sometimes, you are just different no matter where you are placed, or where you grow up.

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