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Emotional Dissonance

Emotional dissonance is a feeling experienced when one is forced to fake an emotion.


Imagine being told you can't feel your emotions. That you have to pretend that everything is okay all the time.

No, I am not talking about a job. I'm talking about my childhood. I was raised to believe that my feelings did not matter, only of my adoptive parents. I was never validated about any of my emotions, interests, or what I wanted to do with my life. I was often told that I was wrong, that I did not know well enough, and that I could not make the right choices.


This is the term Narcissistic Adoptive parent. It is common in adoptions to be adopted into a family with one or two Narcissistic parents. They tend to use the child for their own needs. They objectify the child, baby it, create co-dependency, and also expecting the child to take care of them.


Sadly this still occurs in a lot of adoptees relationships with their family. They are taken into homes where the parents adopted kids for the wrong reasons. So instead of getting healthy support, encouragement, and love, they are put down. It is also the reason adoptees have higher rates for self harm, suicide, and drug addiction.



Can you relate? Take the quiz!

https://www.willieverbegoodenough.com/narcissistic-mother-survey/#.XV2Ks-hKiM8


Everyone's experience is different. Being a daughter of a Narcissistic parent can be complicated. Often people don't believe you, or your experiences because the parent plays the role of martyr or innocent savoir. It is so important to have a support system. There are many support groups online that can be beneficial if you feel this way. I know that I have gained a lot by making friends, proving that I am not alone in the adoption world.


Here are some great examples of more:

https://pamelakaranova.com/2014/11/29/the-narcissistic-adoptive-mother/

http://louisaleontiades.com/is-maternal-narcissism-more-prevalent-in-adoption/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children



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