"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage"
I often feel trapped in anger. Like I am fighting, and fighting, and fighting for no reason.
It could be the system we live in. It could be trauma. It could be emotionally reactive to triggering situations.
Its like the old saying, "One step forward, and two steps back."
As soon as I get ahead of these feelings, something else comes to drag me back down.
Its like having a secret disease that you've had your whole life, but no one knows about it until you're 30, 40, or 80 years old. Letting that out little by little, finding people and places that can handle those truths. There is no way to explain how I compartmentalize it. Box it. Process details and then put parts of it back into the cage of rage.
It is why it has been so hard to write lately. I find that one day I have soo much say, and the next thats it not worth writing.
But that is my life.
Stuck in a cage.