Six years ago to the day, I had received my DNA kits. I did my spit tests, packed them up and drove up the coast. Now, back then, it wasn't legal to send out for genetic testing in New York state. So I had to mail my kit out while I was on vacation.
Can you imagine how it feels for someone to tell you its illegal to know where you come from? That it is illegal to ask a court for a birth certificate?
This is the reality for adoptees.
You are told you aren't ready or worthy of information. That we should be grateful for not being aborted.
I literally had to risk my own choices to find any trace of evidence. I remember once going to the records office and literally trying to manipulate the woman behind the desk if I could just PLEASE see my original birth certificate.
We so often have many leads that turn into dead ends. Information that is not always accurate. People who lie, and then proclaim they lied for good reason.
I work with many children who's family proclaim they "never want the child to ever find their real parents." When the sad reality is, no matter how horrible the parents were in the past, the child will someday want to know. And no matter how much we try and protect children from the past, its important for every child to know where they come from so they can make sense of their own lives.
I will forever be grateful and supportive of ALL genetic testing companies. AncestryDNA has helped so many people find out information they would have otherwise never known. Without them I would have never found my real heritage or biological family.
Please if you ever work with, or come into contact with children who do not live with their biological family always speak positive. Do not discourage them to not look for the past. Children need more adults to be a voice for them.